by Georgia Sand / photos by Brent Fleury

You know the drill: the holidays are upon us, and no matter what your line of work, you’ll probably be forced to make chit-chat—eggnog in hand, munching a Santa-shaped cookie—with the same group of people you see for eight or more hours every single weekday of your life. Sounds like a blast, right? There is an art to enduring the office Christmas party, says Darlene Das, a Hendersonville resident who’s a part-time surgical assistant and runs an etiquette business on the side. After attending the Protocol School of Washington and the Etiquette and Leadership Institute of Athens, Georgia, Das now does customer service coaching and table-manner training for small- and medium-sized businesses. “A lot of times, you lose the job at lunch or at dinner because you have no clue about what’s going on at the table,” she says. Here’s how to have a clue at a holiday get-together and avoid ending up the butt of office jokes.

Pre-party

1. Don’t invite your spouse if they’re not invited. First of all, an office Christmas party is likely to be true torture for him or her, so there’s no need to put them through that ringer unless absolutely necessary.

2. Play it safe wardrobe-wise. Check the time and venue for common-sense clues. If it’s a luncheon, don’t show up in a strapless, back-less gown, and if it’s an early-evening event, make sure you can actually work during the day in whatever you’ll be wearing. If all else fails: “A black number dress is usually perfect for anything and everything,” she says. Just bring the right accessories to dress it up or down. Whatever you do, don’t wear anything open to the navel. Cleavage is a no-no at office events, Das says. “A Christmas party could make or break a promotion. Just because you’re outside the office doesn’t mean you don’t have to be business-like.”

At the party

3. Don’t drink too much. There should be a number one beside this rule. Drinking too much is usually the root of all office-party evils, Das says. “That’s where people lose it. Many things are said under the influence, and you can’t take them back.” If you’re not a regular drinker, don’t even finish one glass. But don’t let that stop you from looking festive, either. If the party is in a bar, ask the bartender for cranberry juice or Sprite with a lime.

4. Steer clear of politics, religion and moral issues. As usual, it’s safer to keep your most deeply held beliefs out of the office rumor mill—and out of Christmas cocktail conversation. Keep current on the news, sports, food and other lighter fare. If you sense that someone’s about to spout off about religion or the president, take the talk in a different direction.

5. Don’t bare your soul. (It helps to keep in mind rule #3.) If you have a huge crush on the guy in the cubicle next to you, the office Christmas party is not the time or place to reveal it. First of all, you’d be amazed at how quickly everyone at the party will find out. “Keep it to table talk,” Das says. At least wait until after the party to spring the news on him. Conversely, if you despise the guy in your neighboring cubicle, the party is no place to lash out. Try to break the ice with your nemesis by asking politely about something that has nothing to do with work.

6. Keep your shop talk general and avoid gossip—which is tough. “If you find yourself saying, ‘I can’t believe Diane got that promotion, and look how she’s dressed tonight,’” says Das, you must restrain yourself. Being the office gossip, and thus the source of negative energy, reflects poorly on you and can have ripple effects you’d never even dream of. The Christmas party is the time to keep things light, recap the year and pat yourself and others on the back. It’s not the time to talk specifics. “Your mind is in a festive mode, and you’re going to be interrupted,” she says. Save the nuts and bolts of business deals for follow-ups later.

7. No dirty dancing. Even after the boss has left, you don’t want to be the one gyrating on top of the bar or having some sort of wardrobe malfunction. (If you do something truly incriminating, it will show up on YouTube.) “In general, keep it clean,” she says. You’ll thank us on Monday morning.

For more details about Darlene Das and classes at Today's Etiquette, go to www.todaysetiquette.com.